(Pictured here in conversation with Rowan Williams is Sam Candler, Dean of the Cathedral of St. Philip in Atlanta and myself. Photo by Susan van der Veer)
I was fascinated with a question that was asked of Archbishop Rowan after his presentation to the Compass Rose Society about the role of human ego in the competing tensions we face within the Anglican Communion. After a quiet pause, the Archbishop responded:
“The great temptation I suppose for any believer and any minster is to start with self’s agenda and fit God around it. The tough thing about discipleship, expressed a great deal more by our Lord in the Gospels, is to see God’s agenda as providing the context, substance, and meaning of the self. So ego in the Church is almost always about some kind of relativizing of the crucifying demand of the Gospel to my or our agenda. And that’s why to the campaigners of left or right in the Church we need sometimes to say, ‘Just go on scrutinizing how far the campaign and the winning becomes the thing and how far the kingdom becomes the thing.’”
In a moment of self-deprecating humor, Rowan added, “I don’t know if I’ve said this to you before but it’s the Williams theory of ego—my own personal theory of ego.” Here, he jokingly slapped his wrist acknowledging the self-absorption of his own statement. The room broke out in robust laughter.
“There are two sources of ego: sanctified and unsanctified. The unsanctified egoist is so absorbed with himself or herself that you feel diminished by him. The sanctified egoist, is content being himself and in their joy about who they are in themselves, draw others positively in and makes them feel more than they are.”
Speaking of Desmond Tutu as an example of one with a sanctified ego, Rowan said,
“Desmond loves being Desmond Tutu, there’s not doubt about it. But the effect of it is that everybody else loves being themselves more. An unsanctified egoist makes you feel less happy with yourself, jealous, marginalized or put down.”
The “Williams Theory” on ego certainly rings true, particularly when conflict is involved. Am I content with myself in such a way that my words and actions make others feel enlarged? Or am I so self-preoccupied that my words and actions have the effect of diminishing others? Diagnostic questions for sure.
